Grant |
I meet with all my high school seniors for a pre-session consult where we creatively collaborate and go over a preparation checklist. One thing I stress is to plan outfits and gather props beforehand so they can actually enjoy the day of their session. Grant was also required to attend a Senior Consult appointment in my office, but did he remember to gather his props or lay things out the night before? No way. The morning of his session he was bringing piles of clothes and shoes downstairs asking, "What about this?" and "Mom... we have to get to school early so I can see if I can borrow a drum for some photos..."
His absent-mindedness can be aggravating at time, but mostly it's endearing. One of my favorite moments of the day was when Grant grabbed an off-white sweatshirt from the back seat of the Sequoia to change into for his next outfit. It was stained with pizza sauce and dirt. His face fell into a kind of embarrassed but mostly amused smirk and he quipped, "Whoops. Forgot I spilled pizza on that. Guess I'll wear something else." No negative emotion or drama about something he couldn't change anyway. Grant lets things roll off his back. It's something I have always admired in my son.
We finished Grant's senior session at the beach because the boy was made to be in water. Thankfully we shot most of his session along the route to the beach because as soon as his eyes caught sight of the surf, I lost him as a willing participant. His mind was already in the water. He changed into his wetsuit and immersed himself in the cold Pacific Ocean, paddling deep into the powerful water to catch one wave after another. Lunch at a local coffee shop and deep, insightful conversation on the drive home finished out our time together. This time with my boy is a precious memory I will revisit for years to come.
About to head home from a really fun time together. |
Katie Joy |
Alli |
When I found out about this decision, I experienced a giant range of emotions. Intense pride for my Alli. To be added to the varsity team as a freshman is a huge honor. But I also felt instantly sick about how Katie would feel about being passed over by her younger sister. And what about the other varsity players and their parents? How would they feel about a freshman coming up to play on an already full roster? What if Alli takes playing time over their kid? I spent the better part of a day fretting about all of it and then I remembered a quote from Rachel Hollis's book Girl Wash Your Face. "Someone else's opinion of me is none of my business." I made a conscious choice to let that stuff go, rallied my inner circle to pray for Katie, and waited for the news to drop.
But my Katie Girl... she humbles me with her depth of character. It didn't even cross her mind to be jealous or angry. She came running across the field, arm around Alli, and with a huge smile declared,"Alli's on varsity now! I'm so excited for her." I'm crying just writing this. The high school version of me would not have responded that way. Heck.. the grown up version of me probably wouldn't have responded that way. I would have been angry. Pouty. Jealous. But not my Katie. She is teaching me what it means to be gracious and supportive. What a gift to learn character development from your child.
Tuesday, September 18th, our Alli Girl made her high school varsity sports debut. I sat with goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach as I watched my Baby Girl run out onto the field when they called her name. Alli is strong, capable, and fast. She is hard to push off the ball because she knows how to stand her ground. I thought my heart would burst with pride as I watched my daughter stand hand in hand with her teammates as the national anthem played. And then she got called to play! Alli played in that game and held her own against girls who might have more soccer skills, but could never rival Alli's heart.
You would never look at that strong, athletic, confident young woman and know that she was once fragile... crippled by anxiety and panic attacks. Alli is who she is today because she walked through the fire of deep suffering and chose to look it in the face and say, "Not today. Not again. Not in my house..." She is a warrior, on and off the athletic field. She is one of my heroes.
Paige |
My kids will probably be embarrassed when they find out I wrote all this mushy stuff about them. I guarantee I'll get at least one, "That's so embarrassing Mom. WHY?!?!?!" accompanied with an eye roll. But I'm not going to stifle my delight in my kids because it's not cool or because there's a possibility other people will think it's braggy. I am insanely proud that I have had anything to do with the beautiful humans my children are becoming. I am so thankful to Jesus for redeeming my brokenness and failures as a parent and growing our kids to be who they are, in spite of who we are. My prayer is that the overarching story line of their childhood that they will take with them into adulthood is one of love, grace, forgiveness and joy.
Yesterday (which was NOT September 18th), my husband and I were talking about dreams. He didn't think I had any because I'm so practical. But you know what? I'm living my dream. When I was a little girl, my dream was to be a wife and a mom. By the grace of God, I am married to the kindest, most steadfast, faithful man on the planet. God's gift to me to be a mom not once, not twice, but four times? Indescribable joy. THIS was my childhood dream and I am living it out.
And then there's the extra stuff. The stuff that I never could have dreamed up on my own if I had tried. A business owner with the best clients and a flexible schedule that still allows me to be a Mom first? The best surprise! That Crazy Person who runs every day year after year? Never on my radar, but it's now a dream I embrace every single day.
Tuesday, September 18th, was a culmination of dreams. Mine. My kids.
What's your dream?
May I encourage you to live into it? Take the steps necessary to start actively pursuing it. When you do, ordinary days - like Tuesday, September 18th - become days you will cherish for a lifetime. In Newberg as it is in heaven...