TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH

Tuesday, September 18, 2018, was an extraordinary day because of some beautiful, ordinary reasons.  Let me tell you why.

Grant

GRANT:  On Tuesday, September 18th, I took Grant's high school senior portrait session.  It was surreal for both of us.  The saying about the days being long but the years flying by felt like a big fat lie in the early days of toddlerhood, but it really is true.  The past three years have been one lighting-fast blur of life and activity.  My son - the one who gave me the title of Mom - is a month into his last year of high school. He has grown into the coolest kid.  When we sat down to plan his senior session, we realized just how varied his passions are.  Water polo. Drums and music. Our dogs. Skateboarding. Surfing. Snowboarding. His girlfriend.  AP classes and engineering. How on earth could we include them all in his senior session?

I meet with all my high school seniors for a pre-session consult where we creatively collaborate and go over a preparation checklist.  One thing I stress is to plan outfits and gather props beforehand so they can actually enjoy the day of their session.  Grant was also required to attend a Senior Consult appointment in my office, but did he remember to gather his props or lay things out the night before?  No way.  The morning of his session he was bringing piles of clothes and shoes downstairs asking, "What about this?" and "Mom... we have to get to school early so I can see if I can borrow a drum for some photos..."

His absent-mindedness can be aggravating at time, but mostly it's endearing.  One of my favorite moments of the day was when Grant grabbed an off-white sweatshirt from the back seat of the Sequoia to change into for his next outfit.  It was stained with pizza sauce and dirt.  His face fell into a kind of embarrassed but mostly amused smirk and he quipped, "Whoops.  Forgot I spilled pizza on that.  Guess I'll wear something else." No negative emotion or drama about something he couldn't change anyway.  Grant lets things roll off his back.  It's something I have always admired in my son.

We finished Grant's senior session at the beach because the boy was made to be in water.  Thankfully we shot most of his session along the route to the beach because as soon as his eyes caught sight of the surf, I lost him as a willing participant.  His mind was already in the water.  He changed into his wetsuit and immersed himself in the cold Pacific Ocean, paddling deep into the powerful water to catch one wave after another. Lunch at a local coffee shop and deep, insightful conversation on the drive home finished out our time together.  This time with my boy is a precious memory I will revisit for years to come.

About to head home from a really fun time together.

Katie Joy

KATIE:  Katie is a junior this year.  Katie quietly sets ambitious goals and accomplishes them.  Earn a varsity letter in lacrosse her freshman year?  Check.  Take high level AP classes, get A's and make it look easy?  Check.  Get her license on her 16th birthday?  And land her first job that required an interview?  Check and Check.  Katie is crushing this thing called life, and she does most of it with a smile on her face.  Last year, she started feeling bad.  The chronic exhaustion and brain fog complicated her life as a student athlete.  In the process of helping her feel better, Katie set a new goal for herself: choose joy.  It's hanging on a plaque in her room and often written in marker on her mirror.  My girl - in spite of still not having full energy reserves - has regained her joy.  It splashes out of her and all over the people lucky enough to be around her. On Tuesday, September 18th, she was voted Captain of the JV soccer team.  I am beaming with pride.  Atta kid!

Alli 

ALLI:  Alli is a freshman this year.  Athletics are Alli's thing.  She loves All the Sports and is good at them. Exercise, for my girl, is therapeutic. She has been waiting and waiting to play high school sports and was thrilled when she made the JV soccer team.  It meant she and Katie got to be teammates, and they work so well together.  They both play the left side of the field, Katie on defense and Alli on offense.  It has been so fun to watch them work together and cheer each other on.  An added bonus is that being on the same team meant one soccer schedule for two players and a teenage driver in Katie to shuttle them back and forth to their practices and games.  It was heavenly.  But on Tuesday, September 18th, all of that changed.  Alli got called up to the varsity roster for soccer.

When I found out about this decision, I experienced a giant range of emotions. Intense pride for my Alli.  To be added to the varsity team as a freshman is a huge honor. But I also felt instantly sick about how Katie would feel about being passed over by her younger sister.  And what about the other varsity players and their parents?  How would they feel about a freshman coming up to play on an already full roster?  What if Alli takes playing time over their kid?  I spent the better part of a day fretting about all of it and then I remembered a quote from Rachel Hollis's book Girl Wash Your Face.  "Someone else's opinion of me is none of my business."  I made a conscious choice to let that stuff go, rallied my inner circle to pray for Katie, and waited for the news to drop.

But my Katie Girl...  she humbles me with her depth of character.  It didn't even cross her mind to be jealous or angry.  She came running across the field, arm around Alli, and with a huge smile declared,"Alli's on varsity now!  I'm so excited for her."  I'm crying just writing this.  The high school version of me would not have responded that way.  Heck.. the grown up version of me probably wouldn't have responded that way. I would have been angry.  Pouty.  Jealous.  But not my Katie. She is teaching me what it means to be gracious and supportive.  What a gift to learn character development from your child.

Tuesday, September 18th, our Alli Girl made her high school varsity sports debut.  I sat with goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach as I watched my Baby Girl run out onto the field when they called her name.  Alli is strong, capable, and fast.  She is hard to push off the ball because she knows how to stand her ground.  I thought my heart would burst with pride as I watched my daughter stand hand in hand with her teammates as the national anthem played.  And then she got called to play! Alli played in that game and held her own against girls who might have more soccer skills, but could never rival Alli's heart.

You would never look at that strong, athletic, confident young woman and know that she was once fragile... crippled by anxiety and panic attacks.  Alli is who she is today because she walked through the fire of deep suffering and chose to look it in the face and say,  "Not today.  Not again. Not in my house..."  She is a warrior, on and off the athletic field. She is one of my heroes.

Paige

PAIGE:  Paige is in 7th grade, squarely in the middle of middle school.  I am so thankful she's not doing anything earth shattering to my heart and emotions right now.  Thankful that like usual, she is steady and predictable.  Our Paige brings her easy-going, big smile into her academics, her athletics, her siblings' activities, and into every other facet of our daily lives.  She is joy and sunshine, wit and intellect.  I adore her.  On Tuesday, September 18th, Paige did nothing spectacular.  She came home from school and gave me a hug as I headed out to the soccer games.  Thanked her carpool for the ride to soccer practice.  Thanked her brother for the ride home from soccer practice.  Did her homework.  Played games on her phone.  Showered.  Read her book and her Bible.  Did her chores and everything we asked of her.  Nothing spectacular, but everything amazing. What's not to love about that?  Atta kid!

My kids will probably be embarrassed when they find out I wrote all this mushy stuff about them.  I guarantee I'll get at least one, "That's so embarrassing Mom.  WHY?!?!?!" accompanied with an eye roll.  But I'm not going to stifle my delight in my kids because it's not cool or because there's a possibility other people will think it's braggy. I am insanely proud that I have had anything to do with the beautiful humans my children are becoming.   I am so thankful to Jesus for redeeming my brokenness and failures as a parent and growing our kids to be who they are, in spite of who we are.  My prayer is that the overarching story line of their childhood that they will take with them into adulthood is one of love, grace, forgiveness and joy.

Yesterday (which was NOT September 18th), my husband and I were talking about dreams.  He didn't think I had any because I'm so practical.  But you know what?  I'm living my dream.  When I was a little girl, my dream was to be a wife and a mom.  By the grace of God, I am married to the kindest, most steadfast, faithful man on the planet.  God's gift to me to be a mom not once, not twice, but four times?  Indescribable joy.  THIS was my childhood dream and I am living it out.

And then there's the extra stuff.  The stuff that I never could have dreamed up on my own if I had tried.  A business owner with the best clients and a flexible schedule that still allows me to be a Mom first?  The best surprise!    That Crazy Person who runs every day year after year?  Never on my radar, but it's now a dream I embrace every single day.  

Tuesday, September 18th, was a culmination of dreams.  Mine.  My kids.

What's your dream?

May I encourage you to live into it?  Take the steps necessary to start actively pursuing it. When you do, ordinary days - like Tuesday, September 18th - become days you will cherish for a lifetime.  In Newberg as it is in heaven...

Mirror Lake - Hiking in the Snow

The Kids

Thursday was an Adventure Day. I try to take the kids on one adventure day every time they have a break from school and periodically throughout the summer.  These days become more precious to me the older the kids get, because I have to ask them days in advance to set the time aside on their calendar.  As it was, Grant missed swim practice and Alli missed basketball practice just so we could all go.

Mt. Hood got hit with 20 inches of fresh snow on Tuesday so we opted to head there for a day in the snow.  It was a great choice since Newberg was socked in with an all day fog and it was crystal clear up at the mountain with bright blue skies. It just so happened that some of our best friends were vacationing on Mt. Hood, so we picked up Dawn and Jaci to go hiking with us.  (Blake and Davis were snowboarding and John was thrilled to have the afternoon to himself).

I have never purposefully hiked in the snow before and wasn't really sure what gear we would need aside from the usual backpack full of snacks and water.  When we arrived at the trail, temps were in the high twenties and the snow was abundant.  We all put our snow pants and winter coats on over our hiking gear and chose to wear our snow boots instead of hiking shoes.  This was the right choice, but it definitely made it slower going to hike in snow boots and full snow gear.

On a summer day, the hike to Mirror Lake is an easy 1.4 miles on a well-graded trail to the lake from the trailhead.  Add maybe .25 miles to walk around the lake and you're back to your car in about 3 miles, give or take.  However, in the winter you can't park at the trailhead.  The closest parking was almost a mile up the highway at Ski Bowl.  The extra mile to and from the trailhead along the side of the busy highway through packed snow made a normally easy hike feel excessively long.  Alli forgot her backpack in the snow by the car, so she and I got a bonus 1/2 mile of hiking to retrieve her backpack before we even made it to the trailhead.  #goodtimes

The little bridge you cross to start the hike

With that said, this entire day was a blast. The forest was magical. All the trees were dressed in a blanket of snow.  The trail was easy to follow even though it was packed with thick snow.  We trudged our way up to toward the lake, soaking in the periodic views of Mt. Hood and the magic of the snow-covered forest.  We were all hot and sweaty in our snow gear, but we cooled off the second we stopped at the lake for lunch.  We definitely chose the right gear for the weather conditions.

majestic trees

Dawn with the kids

Alli

Katie 

Paige 

Grant

Grant, who is in the best shape of all of us, forgot his backpack with food and water in the car.  He was hungry and hot and hilariously whiny, laying down in the middle of the trail exclaiming, "I can't go on.  I'm not going to make it."  I fed and watered him, helped him to his feet, and he made it up the last few switchbacks to the lake.  Grant drug his $10 sled all the way up to the lake just so he could sled back down the trail to the car.  That was his favorite part.

The view of Mt. Hood from Mirror Lake was everything we hoped it would be.  We sat in the snow and ate our snacks, then took a video of the kids singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town.  Hikers on the other side of the lake heard them singing and joined in the song.  After they finished singing,  shouts of "Merry Christmas" rang back and forth across the lake between the two groups.  ("The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.") While Grant was sledding back to the car, we girls hiked and sang every Christmas carol about snow that we could think of.  It was really fun.

from the trail - that white patch is a cloud bank that had the valley socked in with fog.

by the time we got back to the car, it was twilight. 

This woman is a gem... one of my best friends. 

Grant being Grant.

The mountain and part of the frozen lake.

all photos copyright of Jodi Stilp Photography LLC.  Do not use without permission.

Dawn and me.  We had to BEG the kids to get up out of the snow and take this photo. 

On the trail 

copyright Jodi Stilp Photography LLC 

Alli eating lunch

Aren't they cute? 

frozen Mirror Lake 

The trail continues up the ridge to the top of this mountain on the Tom, Dick and Harry Trail.  

Selfie 

Our girls are BFF's which is pretty fun considering Dawn and I spend so much time together. 

We joined the rest of the Smith's at their hotel suite for a picnic dinner before heading home to tell Curt all about our day.  It was another memorable "Smilp Family" Adventure and we can't wait for the next one.

Merry Christmas and happy hiking.

#hiking #hikingadventures #hikinginthesnow #smilpfamilyadventures

"Congratulations Dr. Stilp" - on becoming a doctor

This June something major happened for our family.  Curt became a doctor.  He graduated right on schedule, in three years, with a 4.00 cumulative GPA.  Highest honors for this scholar and he did this while working a more than full time, demanding job and excelling as a husband and father, and leader in our church.  Can I get an AMEN?

It's like senior portraits for grown ups.

He earned those stripes.

Curt is goal oriented and hard working.  Both of these character traits drew me to him when we were dating and continue to woo me the longer I know this man.  I met Curt when we were twenty and he knew then that he would become a Physician Assistant, work in orthopedics and eventually switch into higher education.  He has chipped away at this plan, one contemplated step after another. 

As Curt worked his way up the ranks of PA education, it became obvious that he would need his doctorate if he wanted to work in high level administration at a university.  We talked about when the best time would be for him to go back to school.  "Never" was the logical answer.  Since there was no good time, we decided to just do it.

He was accepted at Portland State University and started a Doctorate of Education (EdD), specialization in Post-Secondary Education and Education Leadership, in the fall of 2014.  Every other weekend he had class all night Friday and all day Saturday, with 25+ hours of homework assigned each week.  He added this to working at least 50 hours a week and commuting an hour each way to and from work. Doctoral school is NOT for the faint of heart. 

In April of 2014, the incoming class was invited to a  Look What You're Getting Into night for families and students.  Look how tiny our kids were! (I couldn't find the original photo, hence the Instagram scree shot).

But my Man... he just put his head down and did the work.  He stayed up until midnight (or later) most nights and every morning was up at 5 a.m. to read his Bible and start a new day.  Reading is hard for Curt because he's dyslexic, so he created a way to convert his text into an audio file that he could listen to during his commute.  He faithfully made a habit of tucking the kids in each night, listening to them recount their day's activities and praying with them at bedtime.  Then he'd come back down to his "desk" (the dining room table) and get back to work. His drive and determination are so admirable.  

We all made sacrifices to get Curt through school.  Less help around the house.  Less time together.  More carpooling (thank you to our Village that helped me get the kids where they needed to be).  Tough decisions: homework vs. a water polo game.  Homework vs. a basketball game.  Projects that normally would get done immediately, went undone. We had to just let some things go and be okay with imperfection.  Each semester brought different challenges and different adjustments.  It wasn't easy, but through it all, God sustained us.

For three straight years, Dr. Stilp juggled his job, school, marriage, fatherhood and being an elder at our church.  He rarely slept, rarely complained, and never stopped working hard.  He kept his eyes focused on Jesus - gathering strength for each day from his time in the Word - and asking God to fill all the voids.  The passage he meditated on toward the end of our journey was from Deuteronomy.  

"Yet the LORD says, 'During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet'... I did this so that you might know that I am the LORD your God." - Deuteronomy 29:5-6

There is no way that Curt should have been able to keep the pace he kept for so long and not break down.  It was truly God's miraculous provision of strength, clarity of thought, focus and energy that didn't add up given how little he slept and how much of himself and his brain power he gave away each day. 

On May 11th at 2 p.m., Curt defended his dissertation.  I watched with pride as he summarized three years worth of research in a twenty minute PowerPoint presentation then fielded questions from his dissertation committee and members of the audience.  When he was finished they sent us out in the hallway to deliberate, then called us back in.  We nervously took our seats and Curt's dissertation Chairwoman stood to her feet.  Beaming, she declared, "Congratulations Dr. Stilp." It was all I could do to not burst into tears.  Three years of sacrifice to hear those words.  Thank you Jesus!!!

Presenting his dissertation defense.

So Handsome. 

Answering questions.

This June we gathered together to celebrate God's goodness to our family and Curt's incredible achievement. My Mom and her husband flew in from Arizona.  Curt's parents flew in from Minnesota.  We threw a big party and people from Our Village came to celebrate Curt.  They blessed him with words of encouragement and affirmation for a job well done.  I gave him a pair of Birkenstock sandals, to remind him that "his sandals did not wear out."

Curt's finished dissertation and his honor society medal.

Curt with his parents.

Greeting Grandma Ru and Grandpa Terry

I LOVE this man! 

June 18th was the Hooding Ceremony.  My Dad and his wife drove up from Bend and we all met at the Convention Center for the big event.  I had "a moment" in the parking garage.  Curt was standing behind our car methodically donning all his graduation regalia: his robe with the three stripes indicating he is now a doctor,  the tam with his graduation tassel attached, and the special tassels and a medallion from the Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society to honor his 4.00 GPA.  These items had been hanging in our guest room for weeks, but as he put them on, it all became real.  THIS was really happening.  

Having a moment in the parking garage.

Ready to graduate.

These kids admire their Dad.

Grant told us after the Grad School Open house, "I'm driving you to your graduation ceremony."  Sounded ridiculous coming from a 7th grader but three years later, Grant drove us to Curt's graduation ceremony.

When the announcer called Curt's name to come on stage to be hooded, our entire cheering section erupted with loud hooping and hollering.  None of us cared if we were breaking protocol.  That was OUR man up there, being celebrated and honored by his peers and fellow scholars for his persistent determination and intellect, and celebrated by his family and friends for these things and the man of God that he is.

Dr. Curt C. Stilp EdD, PA-C

Thank you to our parents and friends for supporting us and loving us through this journey. Thank you God for sustaining us and giving us what we need for each day. To Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.