Bravery is Staying In the Game

just part of a GIANT oak tree that was on location this morning at my photo session. 

The past three weeks have felt like a time warp of a bad dream we just can’t wake up from. One of my best friends tragically and unexpectedly lost her husband.  Another friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Our kids narrowly missed being T-boned by an erratic driver on the highway.  Friends from church were told that one of their unborn twins had died in utero and the other would not survive outside the womb.  Three beautiful women at a homeless shelter shared their stories – marked by grief and tragedy – over dinner in a safe home last night.  This world is broken.  The weight of grief is staggering.  As my friend Di says, “We are not made for this.”

And yet, in the face of bone-aching sorrow, life goes on.  GOOD LIFE goes on. Alli competed in the state track meet.  One of my nieces graduated with honors from high school and another one moved in with us for the summer.  Katie was inducted into the National Honor Society.  I ran a pain-free race for the first time in over a year. Grant was honored for his commitment to high school athletics and another water polo state championship.  Paige’s passion to help the homeless has opened some intriguing doors for our family to serve people right here in Newberg who desperately need help and a lot of love. 

We still have sports practices, school projects, tournaments and award ceremonies. My clients are counting on me to get their pictures to them. My family still needs to be fed and I (for my own sanity) still need to try to keep my house in some semblance of order. 

I don’t know how to Walk With Your Best Friend Through the Death of Her Husband, but we’re bumbling our way through it.  We’ve sobbed together.  Laughed so hard we cried.  Passed the Talking Stick around her table and texted at all hours of the day.  We have shared wisdom and moments of grouchiness, and walked miles and miles. And you know what?  Jesus has been with us every step of the way.  I have never felt his presence more intimately.  

I assumed that “having Jesus in difficulty” would be all rainbows and sunshine, but it’s better than that.  Jesus is with us in our ugly crying and bone-aching sorrow.  He offers grace to cover our grouchiness and un-put-togetherness. He mourns with us.  Gives us exactly what he need for each day.  Jesus Is my portion and He is enough.

This morning I read a story about a young mother who recently walked through the tragedy of her infant son’s death.  She said, “In my life, and maybe in yours too, bravery looks less like a flashy Captain America moment and more like finishing that work assignment, leaning into a meaningful conversation with a friend, laughing at YouTube cat videos again, and going to counseling for the first time.  Bravery is staying in the game. It’s engaging with your life and relentlessly seeking and accepting love even though life has just run you ragged.  The perfect love I know that God has for each of us – that is what keeps me in the game. It’s what makes me brave.”

I can’t possibly know each of your stories or the burdens you quietly bear.  But I do know that Jesus knows.  He sees you. He loves you.  He sits with you in the mire and weeps with you.  He will give you just what you need to be brave and stay in the game. He will give me just what I need to stay in the game. For that… and for the life he gives me… I am forever grateful.

To being brave…

#stepstohealing