TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH

Tuesday, September 18, 2018, was an extraordinary day because of some beautiful, ordinary reasons.  Let me tell you why.

Grant

GRANT:  On Tuesday, September 18th, I took Grant's high school senior portrait session.  It was surreal for both of us.  The saying about the days being long but the years flying by felt like a big fat lie in the early days of toddlerhood, but it really is true.  The past three years have been one lighting-fast blur of life and activity.  My son - the one who gave me the title of Mom - is a month into his last year of high school. He has grown into the coolest kid.  When we sat down to plan his senior session, we realized just how varied his passions are.  Water polo. Drums and music. Our dogs. Skateboarding. Surfing. Snowboarding. His girlfriend.  AP classes and engineering. How on earth could we include them all in his senior session?

I meet with all my high school seniors for a pre-session consult where we creatively collaborate and go over a preparation checklist.  One thing I stress is to plan outfits and gather props beforehand so they can actually enjoy the day of their session.  Grant was also required to attend a Senior Consult appointment in my office, but did he remember to gather his props or lay things out the night before?  No way.  The morning of his session he was bringing piles of clothes and shoes downstairs asking, "What about this?" and "Mom... we have to get to school early so I can see if I can borrow a drum for some photos..."

His absent-mindedness can be aggravating at time, but mostly it's endearing.  One of my favorite moments of the day was when Grant grabbed an off-white sweatshirt from the back seat of the Sequoia to change into for his next outfit.  It was stained with pizza sauce and dirt.  His face fell into a kind of embarrassed but mostly amused smirk and he quipped, "Whoops.  Forgot I spilled pizza on that.  Guess I'll wear something else." No negative emotion or drama about something he couldn't change anyway.  Grant lets things roll off his back.  It's something I have always admired in my son.

We finished Grant's senior session at the beach because the boy was made to be in water.  Thankfully we shot most of his session along the route to the beach because as soon as his eyes caught sight of the surf, I lost him as a willing participant.  His mind was already in the water.  He changed into his wetsuit and immersed himself in the cold Pacific Ocean, paddling deep into the powerful water to catch one wave after another. Lunch at a local coffee shop and deep, insightful conversation on the drive home finished out our time together.  This time with my boy is a precious memory I will revisit for years to come.

About to head home from a really fun time together.

Katie Joy

KATIE:  Katie is a junior this year.  Katie quietly sets ambitious goals and accomplishes them.  Earn a varsity letter in lacrosse her freshman year?  Check.  Take high level AP classes, get A's and make it look easy?  Check.  Get her license on her 16th birthday?  And land her first job that required an interview?  Check and Check.  Katie is crushing this thing called life, and she does most of it with a smile on her face.  Last year, she started feeling bad.  The chronic exhaustion and brain fog complicated her life as a student athlete.  In the process of helping her feel better, Katie set a new goal for herself: choose joy.  It's hanging on a plaque in her room and often written in marker on her mirror.  My girl - in spite of still not having full energy reserves - has regained her joy.  It splashes out of her and all over the people lucky enough to be around her. On Tuesday, September 18th, she was voted Captain of the JV soccer team.  I am beaming with pride.  Atta kid!

Alli 

ALLI:  Alli is a freshman this year.  Athletics are Alli's thing.  She loves All the Sports and is good at them. Exercise, for my girl, is therapeutic. She has been waiting and waiting to play high school sports and was thrilled when she made the JV soccer team.  It meant she and Katie got to be teammates, and they work so well together.  They both play the left side of the field, Katie on defense and Alli on offense.  It has been so fun to watch them work together and cheer each other on.  An added bonus is that being on the same team meant one soccer schedule for two players and a teenage driver in Katie to shuttle them back and forth to their practices and games.  It was heavenly.  But on Tuesday, September 18th, all of that changed.  Alli got called up to the varsity roster for soccer.

When I found out about this decision, I experienced a giant range of emotions. Intense pride for my Alli.  To be added to the varsity team as a freshman is a huge honor. But I also felt instantly sick about how Katie would feel about being passed over by her younger sister.  And what about the other varsity players and their parents?  How would they feel about a freshman coming up to play on an already full roster?  What if Alli takes playing time over their kid?  I spent the better part of a day fretting about all of it and then I remembered a quote from Rachel Hollis's book Girl Wash Your Face.  "Someone else's opinion of me is none of my business."  I made a conscious choice to let that stuff go, rallied my inner circle to pray for Katie, and waited for the news to drop.

But my Katie Girl...  she humbles me with her depth of character.  It didn't even cross her mind to be jealous or angry.  She came running across the field, arm around Alli, and with a huge smile declared,"Alli's on varsity now!  I'm so excited for her."  I'm crying just writing this.  The high school version of me would not have responded that way.  Heck.. the grown up version of me probably wouldn't have responded that way. I would have been angry.  Pouty.  Jealous.  But not my Katie. She is teaching me what it means to be gracious and supportive.  What a gift to learn character development from your child.

Tuesday, September 18th, our Alli Girl made her high school varsity sports debut.  I sat with goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach as I watched my Baby Girl run out onto the field when they called her name.  Alli is strong, capable, and fast.  She is hard to push off the ball because she knows how to stand her ground.  I thought my heart would burst with pride as I watched my daughter stand hand in hand with her teammates as the national anthem played.  And then she got called to play! Alli played in that game and held her own against girls who might have more soccer skills, but could never rival Alli's heart.

You would never look at that strong, athletic, confident young woman and know that she was once fragile... crippled by anxiety and panic attacks.  Alli is who she is today because she walked through the fire of deep suffering and chose to look it in the face and say,  "Not today.  Not again. Not in my house..."  She is a warrior, on and off the athletic field. She is one of my heroes.

Paige

PAIGE:  Paige is in 7th grade, squarely in the middle of middle school.  I am so thankful she's not doing anything earth shattering to my heart and emotions right now.  Thankful that like usual, she is steady and predictable.  Our Paige brings her easy-going, big smile into her academics, her athletics, her siblings' activities, and into every other facet of our daily lives.  She is joy and sunshine, wit and intellect.  I adore her.  On Tuesday, September 18th, Paige did nothing spectacular.  She came home from school and gave me a hug as I headed out to the soccer games.  Thanked her carpool for the ride to soccer practice.  Thanked her brother for the ride home from soccer practice.  Did her homework.  Played games on her phone.  Showered.  Read her book and her Bible.  Did her chores and everything we asked of her.  Nothing spectacular, but everything amazing. What's not to love about that?  Atta kid!

My kids will probably be embarrassed when they find out I wrote all this mushy stuff about them.  I guarantee I'll get at least one, "That's so embarrassing Mom.  WHY?!?!?!" accompanied with an eye roll.  But I'm not going to stifle my delight in my kids because it's not cool or because there's a possibility other people will think it's braggy. I am insanely proud that I have had anything to do with the beautiful humans my children are becoming.   I am so thankful to Jesus for redeeming my brokenness and failures as a parent and growing our kids to be who they are, in spite of who we are.  My prayer is that the overarching story line of their childhood that they will take with them into adulthood is one of love, grace, forgiveness and joy.

Yesterday (which was NOT September 18th), my husband and I were talking about dreams.  He didn't think I had any because I'm so practical.  But you know what?  I'm living my dream.  When I was a little girl, my dream was to be a wife and a mom.  By the grace of God, I am married to the kindest, most steadfast, faithful man on the planet.  God's gift to me to be a mom not once, not twice, but four times?  Indescribable joy.  THIS was my childhood dream and I am living it out.

And then there's the extra stuff.  The stuff that I never could have dreamed up on my own if I had tried.  A business owner with the best clients and a flexible schedule that still allows me to be a Mom first?  The best surprise!    That Crazy Person who runs every day year after year?  Never on my radar, but it's now a dream I embrace every single day.  

Tuesday, September 18th, was a culmination of dreams.  Mine.  My kids.

What's your dream?

May I encourage you to live into it?  Take the steps necessary to start actively pursuing it. When you do, ordinary days - like Tuesday, September 18th - become days you will cherish for a lifetime.  In Newberg as it is in heaven...

We Can Do Hard Things: South Sister Summit

Almost to the summit

On July 21st, 2018, one of my best friends, Cyndi, and I summited the South Sister, Oregon's third tallest peak at 10,358 feet.  The hike gains more than 5,000 vertical feet in 6.25 miles of climbing and is rated "very strenuous" in every hiking review that I've read.  Curt and I did this hike several years ago and I wrote a hike review.   You can read it here, so I won't reinvent the wheel and talk about the technical pieces of this hike.

Cyndi and I did not set out to summit the South Sister because it sounded like a fun way to spend the day.  You see, on May 13th, 2018, Cyndi lost her husband Alex in a tragic and unexpected accident.  We are still reeling with grief.

Cyndi and Alex, me and Curt.  Gosh do I miss him.

Every single day, my friend wakes up in an empty bed to face another day without the love of her life.  Every single day, she summits the mountain of grief.  And you know what?  I have watched her choose joy in the face of suffocating sorrow.  I have watched her bravery to stay in the game. Cyndi is going to work.  Parenting her kids.  Walking almost every day.  Loving her friends.  Being raw and authentic in her grief, and still choosing joy in the face of it.  Every day is hard, but you know what?  We can do hard things.

The only hike Cyndi has ever been on - prior to summiting Oregon's third tallest peak - is "maybe Angels Rest years ago?" Clearly she didn't have time to train for this hike.  We both knew that logically, it was a stupid idea to try to break her into hiking with the hardest hike you can find in Oregon.

But I know my friend.  Her mind is strong.  She is determined. Courageous. Brave.  I knew it would be cathartic to summit a literal mountain.

leaving my house

ICE CREAM!

So off we went.  Girls weekend in Central Oregon.  Ice cream in Sisters and a dumpy hotel room.  Out the door super early the day of the hike so we could be to the trailhead by 8 a.m.  I run every day and am way too invested in my run streak to purposely skip a day, so Cyndi dropped me off on the highway a mile from the trailhead so I could run to meet her.  The parking lots were already crammed so we were forced to park in overflow parking, adding mileage to a hike that was already REALLY long before we started.

Starting out

Many things went wrong.

1. I brought my camera and forgot to charge the dead battery forcing us to rely on our iPhone cameras to document our journey.  
2. When we were taking the hiking poles out of the car, I somehow managed to use the pole to slice the back of my leg open.  #whatevs  
3. Cyndi has dental implants.  Within the first mile, I gave her a hard, chewy electrolyte tab.  She bit down, and out came her tooth.  We laughed our heads off, she put it in her zipper pocket and we kept hiking.
4. The mosquitos had just hatched in the woods.  They normally don't like me, but they were SWARMING us.  We spent several miles swatting, swinging our hats around and mumbling about the mosquitos from hell only to discover THE FOLLOWING DAY that Cyndi had been carrying a full can of bug spray in her backpack THE ENTIRE TIME.  I mean... c'mon!  We laughed hard about that one.

The hike was hard.  There is no way around it.  The trail is stupid steep.  It feels like it never ends.  The altitude wreaked havoc on Cyndi's breathing.  It freaked her out to hear herself laboring so hard to breathe.  She thought about quitting.  She almost quit.  On more than one occasion.  We cried.  We prayed.  We counted steps forward before we took a break.  We talked about breath control and not being anxious.  We talked about Alex and how we missed him.  We cried some more.  Laughed till we almost peed our pants.  Prayed a lot.

Coming out of the woods.  You can see how much further we had to.

UP UP UP.  It's relentless.

Me taking in the views that are spectacular once you get out of the woods.

My brave friend.  One foot in front of the other.

We had random moments of cell coverage and in those times, Cyndi would do a live video on Facebook.  The love and support of her friends  and her kids fueled her to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  When I had cell coverage, I texted Curt and my Mom.  "Please pray.  I don't think she's going to make it.  She's struggling.  PLEASE PRAY!  I want so desperately for her to make it to the summit."

I was pretty sure she was going to quit at this moment.  But heck no.

HA!  A slip and fall.  We both did it multiple times, even with poles. 

This alpine lake is one of my favorite things about this hike.

Broken Top in the distance, along with half of the state of Oregon.

And so went the hike.  The miles crept by... one footstep after another.  Every time I was certain Cyndi was going to quit, she dug deeper into that well of fortitude and courage, then took one more step.  WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!

That's the summit. We were so close. 

We were within feet of the summit and my poor friend's legs were completely shot.  Every step was a giant effort. So we counted.  One step after the next.  Twenty steps.  Take a break.  Twelve steps.  Take a break.  We can do hard things.

Digging deep.

Eight hours after we started, my sweet friend took a final step onto flat ground at the summit of the mountain. We both lost it.  Tears upon tears upon tears.  I was so proud I thought I would explode.  We can do hard things.

SUMMIT!

YES!

Middle and North Sister

Cyndi used everything she had to get to the summit.  I was worried about the descent.  It's grueling.  Her toes were jamming into the front of her hiking boots, causing intense pain.  As we picked our way back down the mountain, we encountered two different women who were still trying to make the summit.  They clearly were suffering and losing heart.  You know what my Cyndi did?  She stopped to encourage them.  Shared her story of loss and suffering and reminded these women they can do hard things.  We even wrapped our arms around one gal and prayed for her before she continued Doing Hard Things on the ascent while Did Hard Things on the descent.

It took four hours to get down the mountain.  Cyndi lost three toenails.  She cried. We laughed.  I cajoled.  Swatted mosquitos.  Even sang to her, except the only songs I could remember the lyrics to were the hymns I grew up with, so she got The Old Rugged Cross and Just As I Am. Somehow we made it back to our car. Sweaty, tear-streaked, starving, and so content.

The next day - showered, but still crying about everything cause you know... grief.

#twinsies

I don't know what your mountain is, but we all have them.  I do know that this year I have encountered grief in a way that takes my breath away.  Suffering has the power to suck the life right out of you. But Jesus...  oh Jesus.  He is our Portion.  Our strength for each day, and He is good.  He helps us get up each morning, face our mountain, choose joy, and put one foot in front of the other.

We can do hard things my friends.  We can do hard things.  To God be the glory forever and ever amen.  In Sisters as it is in heaven....

Bravery is Staying In the Game

just part of a GIANT oak tree that was on location this morning at my photo session. 

The past three weeks have felt like a time warp of a bad dream we just can’t wake up from. One of my best friends tragically and unexpectedly lost her husband.  Another friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Our kids narrowly missed being T-boned by an erratic driver on the highway.  Friends from church were told that one of their unborn twins had died in utero and the other would not survive outside the womb.  Three beautiful women at a homeless shelter shared their stories – marked by grief and tragedy – over dinner in a safe home last night.  This world is broken.  The weight of grief is staggering.  As my friend Di says, “We are not made for this.”

And yet, in the face of bone-aching sorrow, life goes on.  GOOD LIFE goes on. Alli competed in the state track meet.  One of my nieces graduated with honors from high school and another one moved in with us for the summer.  Katie was inducted into the National Honor Society.  I ran a pain-free race for the first time in over a year. Grant was honored for his commitment to high school athletics and another water polo state championship.  Paige’s passion to help the homeless has opened some intriguing doors for our family to serve people right here in Newberg who desperately need help and a lot of love. 

We still have sports practices, school projects, tournaments and award ceremonies. My clients are counting on me to get their pictures to them. My family still needs to be fed and I (for my own sanity) still need to try to keep my house in some semblance of order. 

I don’t know how to Walk With Your Best Friend Through the Death of Her Husband, but we’re bumbling our way through it.  We’ve sobbed together.  Laughed so hard we cried.  Passed the Talking Stick around her table and texted at all hours of the day.  We have shared wisdom and moments of grouchiness, and walked miles and miles. And you know what?  Jesus has been with us every step of the way.  I have never felt his presence more intimately.  

I assumed that “having Jesus in difficulty” would be all rainbows and sunshine, but it’s better than that.  Jesus is with us in our ugly crying and bone-aching sorrow.  He offers grace to cover our grouchiness and un-put-togetherness. He mourns with us.  Gives us exactly what he need for each day.  Jesus Is my portion and He is enough.

This morning I read a story about a young mother who recently walked through the tragedy of her infant son’s death.  She said, “In my life, and maybe in yours too, bravery looks less like a flashy Captain America moment and more like finishing that work assignment, leaning into a meaningful conversation with a friend, laughing at YouTube cat videos again, and going to counseling for the first time.  Bravery is staying in the game. It’s engaging with your life and relentlessly seeking and accepting love even though life has just run you ragged.  The perfect love I know that God has for each of us – that is what keeps me in the game. It’s what makes me brave.”

I can’t possibly know each of your stories or the burdens you quietly bear.  But I do know that Jesus knows.  He sees you. He loves you.  He sits with you in the mire and weeps with you.  He will give you just what you need to be brave and stay in the game. He will give me just what I need to stay in the game. For that… and for the life he gives me… I am forever grateful.

To being brave…

#stepstohealing

Four Peat: Oregon 6A State Champions Again

Boys Oregon 6A State Champions - four consecutive years 

Girls Oregon 6A State Champions - second time in the past three years 

On November 11th, 2017, the Newberg High School boys water polo team won the Oregon 6A state championship title for the fourth consecutive year.  An hour later, the Newberg High School girls water polo team also brought home the Oregon 6A state championship title - their second in three years. It's hard to put into words the emotion of watching your child, their teammates, and their coaches make a dream a reality.

Newberg has been dominating Oregon water polo since its inception in 1983.  Jim McMaster, the genius who started the program in 1983, is STILL the head coach of the boy's team and the assistant coach of the girls' team.  He has coached his teams to 37 state championships in 34 years.  Let that sink in for a minute. 

Grant has grown up in the culture that is Newberg Water Polo.  The coaches place a high value on hard work, teamwork, and mentoring.  The older kids help coach the elementary teams and mentor the younger players.  All players are expected to volunteer at home tournaments, keep their grades up, and abide by a code of conduct that honors Newberg High School and Newberg water polo.  The bar is HIGH for these athletes and they willingly step up to meet the expectation. These athletes know they are a part of something unique. They are part of a dynasty.

The year Grant started high school Newberg had just graduated an all star group of seniors from their water polo team.  It created a unique opportunity for Grant and four of his friends to all earn varsity letters as freshman and help their team win an unexpected state championship with a roster full of freshmen.  They earned themselves the nickname the Fab Five and it stuck. The following year, each of these boys earned a varsity letter again and played a larger role in another state championship title.

Fab Five after their junior year banquet

This year was different.  All but one of the Fab Five's mentors graduated.  It was time for our boys to step up and lead the team - both in the water and mentoring the younger players coming behind them.  The first game of the season Grant had a hat trick (three goals in one game) and a big cheering section.  The article in the newspaper mentioned every single one of the Fab Five and a role they played in the victory.  The season was setting itself up to be epic.

Grant with his little buddy Payton.

Hat trick.

The Newberg fans are complacent. It's an unspoken expectation that the water polo teams will bring home the league titles and compete at a high level in the state tournament.  We have very few fans that come to the games, and no cheerleaders or fan fare, which is unfortunate because water polo is so exciting to watch.  But the rest of the state is not complacent when it comes to Newberg.  Opponents resent our success and EVERYONE wants to beat Newberg.  Our players carry the weight of this into every single game.  They can't afford be complacent.

Our boys rolled through the first half of their season, beating every Oregon team they played and only losing once in the championship game of a tournament to the reigning Washington 6A state champions. Then, the unthinkable happened.  Our boys went to Lakeridge High School and got beat 6-4 by a very strong, capable Pacer team.  It was the first league loss for the Newberg boys' team in FIFTEEN years.  It was humbling and just the reminder the boys needed that complacency is not an option.

We played Lakeridge again at home in the last game of the regular season.  For the first time since I've been watching high school water polo, Newberg fans - and even cheerleaders -  came out to support the athletes.  They PACKED the pool deck and stands, cheering wildly and creating an electric atmosphere. It was obvious this game should be a preview of the state championship.  The game was tense and close.  Grant scored a goal with one second left on the game clock to help his team win 7-4, settling the score with Lakeridge.

The win by the Tigers secured a tie for the League Champions and forced a play off game to determine which team would get the number one seed going into the state tournament.  Newberg scored the first goal and controlled almost the entire first half, but the Pacers scored at the end of the second quarter and the momentum shifted.  The two teams battled back and forth through the last two quarters, but Pacers all-star Terran Walker put the game away with a goal in the last minute to earn a 6-5 Lakeridge victory.  Both teams knew the showdown at state would be a good one.

As the season progressed, Grant's strength morphed him into a defensive specialist. He was assigned to shut down the opponent's 2 meter/hole set position.  It was exciting (and a little scary) to watch him battle it out against some of the toughest and scrappiest players in the state.  The stuff that is considered "legal" in water polo is cray cray. Grant had a memorable and incredible performance in the semi-final game, scoring four goals and playing flawless defense.  It is a bit surreal to watch him play every second of these important games and hold his own against some of the best players in the state.

As expected, the Pacers and the Tigers both played their way into the state championship game.  Both teams were hungry for victory.  The Pacers were playing for their first ever state championship.  The Tigers were playing for revenge and to keep their championship streak alive.

team captain getting the fans pumped

Grant being announced before the championship game.

jumping in the water before the game started.

The sprint to start the championship game ended in a jump ball.  Newberg won the jump and went right down and scored a goal within the first ten seconds.  That goal set the tone for the entire game.  Newberg held the lead throughout the entire championship game and earned another state title for their school.

Raleigh winning the jump ball 

Then scoring seconds later to set the tone for the game.

Grant guarded All-League MVP Terran Walker, and shut him down for the entire game, with the exception of one goal.  Lakeridge double teamed our strong players, leaving Alex, our lone sophomore starter, open.  He took full advantage of this, scoring three crucial goals and earning the game ball for his stellar performance. With less than a minute to go in the championship game, Grant scored to put the Tigers up by three goals, a margin too big to tackle with the time remaining in the game.  Final score: Newberg 9- Lakeridge 7.

my boy doing his thing

getting ready for the second half 

It was a tough, physical game.  Well played by both teams.

final minute of the game - just before G scored to put them up by 3.

CHAMPIONS!

You did it!

#fourpeat

one happy boy

our co-captains

State Champions (but missing a ton of our players in this photo)

Five of our starters earned All State honors, including our goalie Wilson Johnson, who also took home state MVP honors.

I had a Media Pass that allowed me access to the entire pool deck to take photos.  It was pretty cool to  be able to record the excitement of another championship for our boys and their parents.  Their senior year is going to be an emotional roller coaster for all of us.  Just take a look at this little video clip that shows the emotions that go into the semi-final and championship games!

Here is a video of the goals Grant scored in the semi-final and championship game. A huge thanks to my friend Heather who took all these videos while I was taking still shots.

Well done boys.  Four-peat State Champions.  You earned it and we are so proud.  Until next year....