Out of the Storm

I have been reading the book of Job as part of my assigned Bible reading.  It's a confusing book.  (I've read it multiple times and still don't fully "get it" so don't overanalyze my mini-synopsis from a theological standpoint).

Job has the perfect life: a wife, a host of kids, health, wealth, and a highly regarded godly reputation. Then, in a twist that seems so odd it doesn't seem like it could possibly be a nonfiction story, Satan accuses Job of only loving God because his life has been so richly blessed by God.  God disagrees and the two strike a deal. Satan can attack Job - up to taking his life - to test him.

Job loses everything.  His children all die in a freak accident.  His wealth is stolen away.  His wife tells him to curse God and die.  And then his health is taken from him.  All of this happens in the first handful of chapters.

The rest of the book of Job - save the final chapters - are narratives of Job pouring out his heart to his best friends, who completely botch their theology and their attempt to comfort Job.  They take turns telling him all the things they perceive he did wrong to bring the suffering upon himself.  

It's not an uplifting Bible story.  Certainly not the one your pre-schooler will learn about in Sunday School.  So much of this book FEELS like it does not align with the narrative of the God in the rest of the story of the Bible. The God who creates beauty, loves deeply, redeems the broken and promises to make all things new again doesn't seem to be one who would allow suffering of this level just to prove a point.  The book of Job raises more questions than answers for me and that's okay.  I like serving a God that is so much bigger than me that I can't really fully comprehend all the pieces of who He is.  But I digress...

Thirty-seven long chapters into the story, Job and his friends are done arguing and beating each other up verbally.  They pause to just sit in their sadness.  I bet they wonder where God is in all of this.  I know I would.

Chapter 38 starts with this beautiful phrase.

"Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm."

Friends, even when God is silent...  when we feel ALL ALONE in our suffering... when our friends or spouses say the wrong thing... when death robs us of those we love... when we lose everything financially... when our health is unexpectedly taken from us...  EVEN THEN... we are never alone.

God is with us in our suffering.  He can handle our questions.  Our disbelief.  Our raw emotions.  Our fumbling. Our failures.  He is with us in the storm.  

Sometimes we have to work through all the crap and verbal vomit to come to a place of silence.

Then... the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm.

I am so grateful to serve a God who speaks.  In my suffering.  In the silence.  In the highs and lows of life.  

He speaks.  

He is with me.  

He is with you.  

I am forever grateful.

Seven Years: In Uganda as it is in Heaven

Our 15 year daughter Alli is currently in Uganda with a team of mostly high schoolers working and serving the people in Gulu.  She has dreamed of this moment for seven years.

Seven years ago, life was HARD for our family. Alli was in a dark space... struggling in every aspect of her sweet little life.  Every single day was a challenge for her, and for us as her parents trying to help her.  In the midst of this season, Pastor Mutatu, an African pastor, visited our church.  He was also a guest at a small group Curt and I were a part of.  That night, at small group, I had "A Moment." The heaviness of life was suffocating and I broke down.  Our group came around Curt and I and prayed for us.  They prayed for our Alli.  They prayed for Grant, Katie and Paige.  It was powerful.

Alli - age 8

She lobbied hard for a typewriter for her birthday.

And then Pastor Mutatu said, "I want to meet your daughter.  I have a daughter the same age and I know they would be friends."

A few days later, Alli sat across from Pastor Mutatu, her creamy white skin a beautiful contrast to his rich, dark skin, and they talked.  About life.  About being eight years old.  About the challenges she faced... about the challenges he faced.  About his family... about hers.  They lived a half a world away with lives, that on the surface, appeared to be as different as their skin colors.  But as with most things, their commonality was so much greater than the few things that divided them.  

Pastor Mutatu asked good questions.  He challenged Alli on her areas of weakness.  He spoke words of life and encouragement over her strengths and the good that he saw in her.  In a season where success was hard to come by, this was LIFE GIVING.  

And then, in his beautiful accent, he invited Alli to be "the first child missionary from our church" to come and join him and his family in the work they were doing in Africa.  Without hesitation, our girl - who had been crippled by anxiety for years - said, "Yes if my Mom and Dad will let me."  It was a holy and powerful moment.  One I can't talk about without crying, even though it's been seven years.  

Friends... our words hold power.  With them we can kill a spirit or be an agent of healing.

The time was not right for Alli to travel to Africa, but Pastor Mutatu planted a seed.  He gave Alli a vision of a world outside the confines of Newberg, a love for the African people and a dream to serve them some time in her life.  

A few months after her meeting with Pastor Mutatu, our girl broke down.  It was scary, but God is so good.  He was right there with us, in the muck and the mire of the darkest days of our life.  With the help of a team of talented professionals, we started on a very long journey toward mental, physical, and emotional health and healing.  Seven years later, our Alli Girl is healthy and thriving, something I am grateful for every single day.  

It took seven years, but our girl is finally in Africa, living out a dream that God planted in her heart. Alli raised $4,000 to go on this trip.  Many of you donated to her trip, gave her cans to recycle, hired her to babysit your kids or feed your pets, or paid her for free throws that she made.  She got a job and funneled all the money she made toward the cost of the trip. Thanks to Our Village and Alli's hard work, she was fully funded before she left.  THANK YOU!

Dropping her off at the airport.  All the feels. 

Alli's team.  They were meeting up with a few more college kids from our church who were already in Uganda.

First of two 10+ hour flights to get there.

We have very limited contact with Alli while she's gone, but Tom, her team leader, sends us updates.  He also happens to be an award winning photographer.  Today he sent photos from their first full work day in Gulu.  I cried when I saw the photos of our girl.  There is no question she is thriving.  These photos are the happiest, most genuine images of our girl.  Just look at that smile!

I'm not sure where you are in life right now.  Maybe you're in a spacious place... a season of thriving and abundance.  Maybe you're in a dark, miry pit wondering how you will get through the next hour, let alone the day.  Wherever you are at, God is with you in that space.  He sees you. He knows you.  He loves you.  He has beautiful things planned for you and your life.  

Take a long, slow deep breath.  

Inhale the goodness and peace of God.  

Exhale anxiety and fear.  

There is hope.  

It may take a week, a month, a year, or maybe seven... but that smile of yours?  It's gonna beam again soon and you're gonna bless the people around you with it.

"For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." - Psalm 56:13

In Uganda as it is in heaven.