Marquam Trail to Council Crest Hike

For my birthday, I asked my family to go for hike with me.  We didn't have a lot of time and needed to stay local, so we drove into the heart of Portland and hopped on the Marquam Trail - near OHSU off Sam Jackson Parkway.  It never ceases to amaze me that you can be steps away from the urban core and enter into preserved forest with trails that go for miles.  Portland is so cool.

It was a typical fall day for Oregon - the woods a wash of orange and yellow and gray skies that occasionally drizzled, but threatened to open up and pour.

starting our hike

We followed the Nature Trail up to the Marquam Trail which leads to Council Crest.  The trail follows the Marquam Gulch up, up, and up to the Council Crest at the summit.

Love my Crew!

This guy is pretty darn cute!

The trail was muddy due to rain and steep in some parts but overall was rated moderate.  I agree with that rating.  It was definitely a climb, but the grade was manageable.

The leaves were big!

pretty forest

We hiked right up into a thick blanket of fog.  It gave the woods a mysterious appeal and completely obscured the view from Council Crest.  Apparently the panoramic view includes the city of Portland in the valley and four volcanic peaks in Oregon and Washington, but we could barely see our hands in front of our faces.

Can you find Grant?

into the fog

Paige asked her Daddy to dance with her so they waltzed around the veranda.  It was sweet and made for a cool photo op.

dancing with Daddy 

I thought this statue was cool

We ate our snacks in the fog, posed for a group picture, and wandered around the park before heading back the same way we came.

Cool water tower - we were hoping to find a bathroom, but this was cool.

Family shot at the view point

Overall this was a fun hike.  It was short and sweet, but not so short that it didn't feel worth the effort to go.  The trail cuts through neighborhoods and crosses a few roads so hikers need to watch the trail signs closely and be careful crossing the streets.

We will definitely come back again on a clear day to catch the view.

Overall hiking distance: 3.7 miles.

Happy hiking.

Washington Park-Hoyt Arboretum Hike and Oregon Holocaust Memorial

Portland has a ton of cool parks.  Washington Park and the Hoyt Arboretum are no exception.  There are so many cool things to do in this vast expanse of space that you could come here a hundred times and not see it all. 

The week before my birthday my good friend Ann guided me on a super sweet Portland hike that included Washington Park, Hoyt Arboretum, and the Oregon Holocaust Memorial.   We didn't follow the same route described in my hiking book, but we still managed to get in over four miles of super cool hiking.

Ann (I call her Annabelle and she calls me Jodiata) met me at Zuppan's on Burnside and 23rd.  We walked a handful of steps up the sidewalk to a paved trail that led right into thick, beautiful woods drenched in mysteriously beautiful fog.  It was hard to reconcile how lovely it was with the fact that we were blocks from the urban core of a major metropolitan city.  Portland is SO SO SO cool!

Just steps  off a busy city street and blocks from the urban core.

Annabelle has lived in this area for years and she knows her way around the Portland trail system.  She told me the trail we were hiking on used to be the main road into the city and the round, metal rings embedded in the pavement were what patrons used to tie up their horses.  

Cool staircase on our hike. 

We hiked our way through the foggy forest and into the famous Rose Gardens of Washington Park.  The view of the city and mountain peaks was obscured by the fog, but I loved it.  It felt like we were walking through an enchanted garden.

Washington Park

Washington Park

The Rose Garden Offices looked similar to a stone bathroom house we saw earlier on our hike - beautifully maintained and repurposed.  Just lovely.

Rose Garden Offices

We hiked out of the Rose Gardens and along the fringe of the Japanese Gardens.  I came to the Japanese Gardens on a field trip in fifth grade and it made a huge impression on me.  I followed our tour guide around, committing to memory all the interesting facts.  When I got home I insisted that my family go see this gem of the city and toured them around, regurgitating every last piece of information from the field trip.  Annabelle and I opted not to tour the gardens, but we were able to walk around the outskirts and get a taste of how lovely they still are.  I'd love to go back this spring and meander through them with my camera.

Japanese Gardens

Japanese Gardens

After the Japanese Gardens we walked into a quiet residential area.  Annabelle knew how to navigate through the neighborhood and back out into the Forest Park trail system.  We followed the Wildwood Trail up into the main entrance of the Hoyt Arboretum.  Hoyt Arboretum means "tree museum" and the trails around the museum are named for the types of trees planted in each segment.  We wandered around on some of these trails then jumped back on the Wildwood Trail to head to our cars.

Hoyt Arboretum

Hoyt Arboretum

**NOTE:  I think the trail system in Forest Park is really complex and complicated.  There are signs at most trail junctions, but unless you know where you're going and have a general sense of direction, it's easy to get turned around and head the wrong way on the right trail.  I wouldn't venture into Forest Park without a trail map or a friend who knows the trails.

Gosh do I love this woman!

On our way back to the car, we stopped at the cute public bathroom, located in a small landscaped park.  While there I noticed a sign for the Oregon Holocaust Memorial so I followed it.  I nearly tripped over a bronze statue of a violin laying on the walkway.  It honestly took my breath away and I stopped in my tracks.  As I looked around, I got goosebumps.

A bench, framed by bushes, sat on the edge of the memorial. The bench represented a town square.  "During the Holocaust, many Jewish families were gathered in town square before being loaded onto trains and taken to concentration camps.  The square contains scattered bronzes of shoes, glasses, a suitcase, and other items to represent everyday objects that were left behind.  A European style cobblestone walkway with inlaid granite bars, simulating railroad tracks, led to a wall of history panels that offer a brief history of the Holocaust and quotes from Holocaust survivors."

I snapped this photo on my iPhone, but left my real camera in my backpack.  For whatever reason, I didn't feel right taking photographs in what felt like a sacred place

I followed the path to the rock wall.  As I read quote after sobering quote, I felt myself start to silently cry.  What a tremendous loss of life.  And for what?  Grief overwhelmed me.

At the end of the wall is a soil vault panel.  "Buried below the panel are interred soil and ash from six killing-center camps of the Holocaust.   The back of the wall is engraved with the names of people who died in the camps, followed by the names of their surviving relatives in Oregon and SW Washington."  

For the first time in my life, a small portion of the weight of unfathomable tragedy of the Holocaust rested on my shoulders.  It was suffocating.  Sobering and oh-so important.  If you are in the area, this memorial is worth your time.

Annabelle and I walked back to our cars in quieter conversation, mulling over what we had just seen. We finished our hike off with coffee from Barista on 23rd and lunch at Papa Hayden's.  It was absolutely wonderful.

I highly recommend taking a day to enjoy all the best that Portland has to offer.  Great hiking.  Beautiful parks.  A moving memorial. Delicious food.  And of course, some of the best coffee in the country.

What I can't offer you is time with a woman was wonderful as Annabelle.  THAT - you will have to find on your own.

Happy hiking!

ALL IN - Alli's First Basketball Game

The older our kids get, the more I love watching them figure out what they are passionate about and pursue it.  I could care less if they are the worst person on the team or the last one finished in a race.  As long as they are giving it their all, I'll be the obnoxious parent cheering them on.

Alli is in fifth grade.  She has always been athletic.  And competitive.  And opinionated.  She does not like to be told what to do and would much prefer to come to a decision on her own terms.  I get it.  She's a chip off the old block.

photo credits to Jared Whitney

When people started telling her she'd be good at soccer or basketball or any other sport that required a lot of running and the potential for a little push and shove, she balked.  She wanted to decide what sport to play.  So she tried softball.  For three painful years.  It moved WAY too slow and couldn't hold her interest.  Every softball coach said, "Alli should play soccer.  Or basketball.  Or water polo.  I bet she'd LOVE those. "

Last fall she tried soccer for the first time.  Like we all predicted, she was a natural, intuitively understanding the game and gaining ball handling skills throughout the season.  She played indoor soccer that winter with girls two years older than she is.  Eager to learn, she managed to hold her own with players who'd been playing soccer for years.  And she kept the parents entertained with her obvious emotions and her aggressive, leave it all on the field, playing style.

first ever soccer game

In the spring Alli joined the water polo team with similar results.  Even though she initially lacked basic water polo skills, she intuitively understood the game.  Alli caught up quickly on her skill set and learned to love water polo by the end of the season.  This summer she practiced with the middle school team - in the deep end - and was able to keep up.  I was impressed, especially cause I know one dunk under the water and I'd be curled up in the fetal position traumatized.

She likes scoring...

... and playing goalie.

Alli played soccer again this fall.  Halfway through the soccer season I got an email from the park district announcing basketball tryouts.  Alli wanted to try out but I didn't have the bandwidth to think about adding another sport.  We missed tryouts - kind of on purpose/kind of on accident.  We thought basketball was out for this year.

Playing goalie this year was fun for Alli.

A week or so later, I got an email from the park district.  A special tryout was being held for fifth grade girls only and Alli was invited to come.  We both were relieved that she had another opportunity to try to make the team.  When we showed up for tryouts, Alli was the only kid there.  Fifth grade basketball did not look like it was in the cards.

The coaches saw her disappointed body language (she wears her emotions on her sleeve) and invited her to join an open gym for middle and high school girls.  They could evaluate her skills at the open gym and give us some input on how to get her on a team.

Alli came home from the open gym with a HUGE smile.  Not surprising, she LOVED basketball.  The coach said her skills were basic, but Alli understood the game and played aggressive defense.  If Alli and two other fifth graders who tried out earlier were willing to play on a 6th grade team, the district would be able to field an extra team.  It was a no brainer.  That is how Alli found herself on a 6th grade basketball team.

The Newberg Tigers have been practicing since early November.  Every practice Alli learns more about the game, her coaches and her teammates.  She comes home excited about the game and ready to learn more.  She even got a basketball as an early Christmas present.

Alli's first basketball game was Saturday.  Her goal for the first game was to "score one basket and play good defense."

Alli tried on her uniform and we died laughing.  It was at least a size or two too big. She put a tank top and shorts on underneath it to add some bulk and a level of comfort in case her uniform shorts fell off while she was running down the court.

Our family found our seats in the gym right at tipoff.  Alli waved excitedly from the bench, waiting for her turn to play.  She cheered her teammates on and about half-way through the first quarter got her first chance to play.  When the coach tagged her to go in, she jumped up and started to go out onto the court, not knowing you had to wait to be buzzed in.   It was immediately obvious it was her first game!

Alli was clearly excited but also nervous and a little unsure of what to do. But the more she played, the more relaxed she got.  It was so fun to watch her figure out the game.  She noticeably improved and understood  more with each minute that she played.  By the third quarter she was stealing the ball, stopping fast breaks, and playing a lot.

Alli got fouled on her first attempt at a basket.  The ref had to tell her to go shoot free throws.  This was her chance to make a basket.

Alli excitedly took her place at the free throw line and looked at us in the stands.  We gave her a big thumbs up.  She grabbed the ball, bounced it a few times, and spun it.  Then took a deep breath, bent her knees WAY down and launched the ball.

SWOOSH!  Nothing but net!

She didn't even try to curb her enthusiasm.  She looked right at us with an "OH MY GOSH DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID?" look of massive excitement.  It was priceless.

Alli missed the next free throw but made two layups later in the game for a total of five points.  She also netted several steals and a few rebounds, so I'd say she met her first game goal.

This stare down and subsequent defense made me laugh.  These two were equally intense and equally matched.

Watching Alli play her first basketball game was a highlight of my weekend.  She clearly loved it and we got such joy out of seeing her embrace something new.  She was ALL IN - body, mind and spirit - and that's contagious.

ALL IN!

I think the Stilp Family might be watching a lot of basketball in the years to come and I'm pretty excited about it. Nice job Alli Girl!  We're proud of you.

Things I Learned in My Thirties - Reflections Looking Back

This month I entered a new decade.  Turning forty was a ton of fun, with celebrations (big and small) that spanned more than week. THANK YOU to everyone who took time to spend with me. I loved my thirties and look forward to what my forties have in store.

My husband Curt and me at the surprise 40th birthday party he threw for me (with help from a lot of my friends)

My beautiful family on my 40th birthday hike.  I am blessed abundantly!

As I was looking back over the past decade I realized how God has changed me.  Here's a random list  of Things I Learned in My Thirties.

1.  Not Wrong, Just Different.  Several years ago Curt and I participated in the Love and Respect conference via a weekly small group session.  We learned a lot of practical tips to help in our marriage, but my biggest takeaway applied to all relationships, not just marriage.  The conference teachers kept coming back to taking a "Not Wrong, Just Different" approach to resolving conflict.  I realized how judgmental I had been: of different approaches to parenting, marriage, life, etc. labeling them "wrong" when they were merely "different." Learning to put this idea into practice revolutionized the way I saw and interacted with others.  It softened me and made me a much more gracious and likable person.

2.  Embrace Your True Identity.  I spent two decades crippled by insecurity.  When I let the truth of who I really am - A Daughter of The King - sink in I began to walk in true freedom and confidence.  God created me unique, in HIS image.  He knows my name.  He calls me chosen.  Dearly loved.  Holy.  Complete in Him. He says these things about you too.  Walk in this truth.

3.  Comparison is the Death of Contentment.  There will always be someone faster, smarter, prettier, thinner, more creative, and more talented than me.  More talented than you.  When we compare ourselves it kills contentment of what we DO have.  Don't compare.  Instead rejoice in all the unique gifts, talents and relationships you do have.  The Bible puts it this way: "Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else.  For we are each responsible for our own conduct." (Galatians 6:4-5)

4.  Celebrate Life Every Day.  My thirties were some of the richest years of life, but they were also some of the most challenging.  Life is unpredictable and much of it is out of our control.  Choose to find something to celebrate each day.  Your health. God's provision.  Your kids.  Your marriage.  Your friendships.  Each day is a gift, so celebrate it.

5.  Persevere in Your Relationships. Pour into, fight for, love fiercely, dig deeper into the relationships God has put in your life.  When you hit a rough patch, push into each other instead of away from each other. If you are married, figure out how to love your spouse well.  Invest in your friendships, your children, your coworkers, and your family.  You will never regret it, but you almost certainly will regret it if you give up.

6.  Extend Grace to Yourself and to Others. You are not perfect.  Your spouse, children and friends are not perfect.  You will screw up and so will they.  When that happens, extend grace to them.  Then extend it to yourself as well.  Don't beat yourself up for all you did or didn't do.  Be gracious and move on.

7.  Don't Keep Carrying Your Baggage.  We live in an imperfect world and as a result, we all have "baggage" - past wounds and hurts that are part of our story.  Carrying all that around gets exhausting.  I would encourage everyone to work through the wounds and pain to a point of healing.  Then drop your backpack full of that baggage at the foot of the cross and don't pick it back up again. Let Jesus carry it.  He says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

8.  Laugh.  I have a tendency to get wrapped up in what I'm doing in the moment.  I'm ALL IN with every emotion.  If it's a tense or irritating situation, I will be uptight and grouchy.  I am so grateful for a husband who is hilariously funny and four kids who are wild, crazy and fun.  They remind me to laugh instead of cry or bang my head against the wall.  It's good medicine.  (Proverbs 17:22)

9.  Jesus.  I have known about Jesus since I was a toddler and loved him in varying capacities throughout my life.  But it was in this past decade that I really dug into the Word and fell head over heels in love with my Savior.  As He revealed himself day in and day out through what I was studying in the Bible, I became more aware of my need for Jesus.  The freedom that comes with full surrender to His plan and His will takes my breath away.  It is deeper, greater, sometimes harder, and more lovely than any plan I could concoct for my life.  Jesus continues to reshape and transform my life.  I know the beauty of the depth of his love will only grow with each passing year.  If you want to experience "life that is truly life" (John 10:10), surrender to Jesus.

10.  Take Care of Your Body.  I write a lot about running, hiking, and fitness related activities.  It would be easy to assume this has always been a part of our daily rhythm, but that's not true.  Curt and I were typical parents of toddlers and babies. We were exhausted.  Run down.  Out of shape.  Overweight.  Unhappy with how we looked.  So we decided to something about it.  I was 33 years old when we baby-stepped our way into a healthier lifestyle one painfully slow run at a time. (Read more of that story here.) Before we knew it healthier eating patterns, weight loss, energy and boosted self esteem followed.  Now exercise and decent food choices are part of our daily rhythm.  I encourage you to find a form of exercise that you can tolerate and get out there.  You may just find a new love.

11.  Learn to Say No.  We live in a culture that values being over scheduled and busy.  Ask anyone how they are and more often than not, "Tired and busy" will be their response.  It's tempting to want to say "Yes" to every opportunity that comes our way.  However there is great benefit in learning to say "No" to the peripheral things - even good things - so you can say "Yes" to the most important things.

12.  Follow the Way of Love.  A few years ago I was angry with someone who had intentionally deceived me.  I called a godly, wiser mentor to help me process how to handle the situation.  With little hesitation she asked, "What does God say about love?" and pointed me to the Love Chapter in the Bible.  (I Corinthians 13).  The author Paul makes list of what love is and isn't according to God's definition of love.  When Paul is done defining love he transitions to his next thought with this phrase: "FOLLOW THE WAY OF LOVE." This one phrase has transformed how I approach conflict in relationships.  So often I get my shorts tied in knot by what the other person did (or didn't do) and I want to retaliate or lash out.  But when I step back and ask God how I can "follow the way of love," it's always a much softer, gentler approach.  I am NOT a crafty person, but I hand-painted a hideous looking plaque and hung it above my kitchen sink as a daily reminder to follow the way of love.

13.  Repent Quickly.  I have a tendency to say things without thinking.  I'm constantly going back to my friends and family and asking for forgiveness for being thoughtless.  When we damage relationships we need to be quick to repent and seek reconciliation as soon as we know the relationship has been broken.

14.  My Response is My Responsibility.  This is a tough one, but has been so helpful.  My response is my responsibility.  Period.  I can't control what other people do or say.  I can't control what other people don't do or don't say.  The only thing I can control is my behavior.  I am accountable to God for how I behave, so I need to be responsible to behave in a way that brings Him glory and fame.  I have drilled this into my kids as well and we're all learning together to be responsible for our behavior and our response to people who wound us.

15.  Make Good Friends and Invest in Them.  My friends are some of the most beautiful gifts in my life.  They are God's tangible expression of His love for me.  (Read more here.)  Many of my best friends are total opposites of me.  These friends model to me what gracious words and patient parenting looks like.  They teach me how to be still and embrace rest.  They remind me to take time to invest in beauty.  My other friends are similar to me.  These friends join me in my crazy adventures and push me to be stronger, smarter, faster, and offer encouragement along the way.  Life is not meant to be lived alone.  Make friends and then invest in those relationships.

16.  Be Authentic.  Keeping up a perfect facade is exhausting and isolating.  Be authentic in your relationships. Dare to be vulnerable.  Be real and honest, then enjoy the joy that comes with deep and intimate relationships.

17.  Take Risks. If you would have told me two years ago that I would be running my own business as a professional photographer, I would have laughed in your face.  But God has a crazy way of taking the skills He gives us and using them to bring Him glory if we let him.  It was risky and scary to launch my own business, but I am living out a dream.  I still can't believe it.

18.  Offer Encouragement.  We all need encouragement.  God has used well timed words of encouragement from my friends and family as tools to shape and change me.  Encouraging words are life giving.  Look for ways to offer authentic encouragement to your spouse, your kids, your family and your friends.

19.  Be Excellent.  If you're going to attach your name to something, don't do a halfway job.  As long as it depends on you, be excellent in what you do.  This could be parenting, marriage, friendship, work, life.  The Bible says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (I Corinthians 10:31)  It comes back to the point of learning to say no.  When we say no, it frees us up to be excellent in the things we are saying YES to.

20. Take Time to Rest.  To keep up with our fast-paced, busy lives we need to incorporate a regular rhythm of rest.  God modeled this when he created.  He worked hard for six days and called his work good.  And then he rested. And called the rest good.  He commands us to "Sabbath."  We have learned to implement this regular rhythm of rest into our lives and it has been so healing and restorative.

21.  Thrive Within Your Limitations.  I never knew, until the past few years, that one of the reasons I love the rugged wilderness is because big crowds and lots of chaos gives me anxiety.  The thought of going to DisneyLand makes me sick to my stomach.  The more in tune I get with my body and emotions, the more aware of my limitations I am.  This awareness has enabled me to make choices that I can thrive within, instead of shriveling up internally.  We all have limitations, but we can learn to thrive within them.

And there you have it.  Just the tip of the iceberg of all the things God has taught me in my thirties.  I'm excited to see how what He has up his sleeve for the upcoming decade.  To my family and friends who I adore, thank you for being a part of my story.  My life would be so much duller and empty without your beautiful influences.

My Summer Road Trip - guest post by Grant Stilp (8th grade)

by Grant Stilp

Tonight Grant was going through his backpack and gave me a stack of papers to recycle.  I'm so glad I dug through them because I found several gems in the pile.  A geometry assignment that is so far over my head I have no idea what any of it means.  An All About Me form that captures who he is right now as a 13-year-old eighth grade Man Child.  I will treasure that one forever.  And an essay titled My Summer Road Trip.

I should have just asked Grant to write the blog posts about our trip because he summarized fifteen days of jam-packed fun and adventure into three run-on paragraphs that totally captured what we did and how he felt about it.

Here's Grant's take on our family road trip.

My Summer Road Trip

by Grant Stilp (age 13)

Eighth Grade

September 8, 2014

This summer I went on a thrilling road trip around the country with my family.  We embarked on our adventure at around six thirty when my dad got home from work and made the treacherous eight hour drive to Spokane, Washington, arriving at our hotel at one o'clock in the morning.  

on the way to Spokane, Washington

After eating the cheap hotel breakfast and packing our bags back into the car, we set off to make the second leg of our trek to Great Falls, Montana, where we were meeting our cousins to drive to a remote cabin that they have access to.  There was some fighting as well as breathtaking scenery and soon enough we were just outside of Great Falls at a gas station, waiting for our cousins to arrive.  As soon as they got there we did the typical hugs and "I missed you so much" then left for the cabin.  Those three days I spent in the wilderness were some I will never forget.  Floating the frigid Smith River, shooting clay pigeons, breaking an axe, and jumping off a cliff are only some of the things I did there.

only in Montana

After saying our goodbyes and driving down two hours of dusty country roads, we set off yet again.  This time the destination being my grandparents' cabin on Boy Lake near Remer, Minnesota.  After a mind-numbingly boring drive (can you say flat!) across North Dakota we arrived in the amazing state of Minnesota.  

Dance party on the side of the interstate in North Dakota

The cabin was on a beautiful lake connected to hundreds of others via rivers and channels.  We went fishing (I caught my first pike.  YA!!), drove boats, went on a four wheeler adventure that was quite muddy, tubed and water skied, and spent time with our amazing grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles.  

PIKE!

I got up on the second try.

(I'm hijacking his post but dang he's cute!)

cousins

Our second destination in Minnesota was my aunt and uncles' house in North Saint Paul.  Our parents took us around to places where major events in their life happened such as, where they got engaged, married, where they bought their first house, etc.  

the softball field where my mom and dad met

On our final night in Minnesota we visited my grandparents'' hobby farm where my Dad grew up.  I played arcade games in the basement, chased chickens around the woods, lit off fireworks, shot guns, and listened to my Dad reminisce about all his memories.  Our time in Minnesota was over, but I will not soon forget it.

me with my Dad, Uncle Chad, and Grandpa Mo

I am wearing my Dad's old dress up army helmet.

As we hopped in our car with tears in our eyes once more, we drove away for our second to last destination: Rapid City, South Dakota.  The second ten hour drive across the second Dakota was not so bad as we were used to the driving by this point.

dancing at a scenic viewpoint on the way to Rapid City, South Dakota

When we arrived in Rapid City late at night, it was in the middle of a thunderstorm.  One of my favorite memories from the trip lis going to Safeway at 10 p.m. to get groceries in the middle of a thunderstorm!

One of the storms we drove through

That morning we drove to Mt. Rushmore for an amazing day of sightseeing and taking the backroads home.

Mt. Rushmore

Katie taking a picture of the model of Crazy Horse

At Crazy Horse - there's still a lot of work to be done.

We woke early that morning and left for Jackson Hole, Wyoming, to spend two nights with my Dad's cousin.  After a beautiful drive through the Grand Tetons we met my Dad's cousin and her wonderful family and spent two amazing days with them hiking in the Grand Tetons, swimming at their country club, and going to a party.

My cousin August makes me laugh

hiking in the Grand Teton National Park

On the drive through Wyoming

When I got home I reminisced about all my memories and how I will never forget this trip.