Friday, October 30, 2009

Bzzzz, Bzzzzz, Bzzzz, SPLAT!

Remember the nasal flies from yesterday's post? The ones who infest the sheep and drive them to the place of utter distraction? So bad that they beat their heads against the wall? Well God must really want me to learn how to practically apply what I'm learning because the last 48 hours have been filled with opportunities to practice this in my life.

Can you make a meal for a woman who is sick? Coordinate meals for a new mom? Coordinate meals for someone I've never met but technically am responsible for supporting? Schedule play dates times four since there is no school today? Clean my house, before and after, two large gatherings in this week alone. Fold clothes. Scrub the bathrooms. Feed my family. Follow up on new tires for the van. Go to physical therapy. Make the meal plan and the grocery list and somehow find 4 hours to go and shop for it all. Exercise? What's that. Haven't done that in several days. Maybe by the time I'm 40 my schedule will clear up enough to work regular exercise back into the routine. Bzzz... Bzzzz.... Bzzz...

I feel pulled in a million different directions and am being forced to say no to things, good things, because to say yes comes at the expense of my own family. And it bugs me that I can't do it all. Be everything to all people who need something from me. How like my enemy to take ministry moments and turn them into an annoyance. Bzzz.... Bzzz.... Bzzzz....

I tried to order the beautiful family photographs my friend took of our family and the photo processor kept cutting off chunks of the pictures. 30 minutes into the project, I had to abandon it and leave it for later. Bzzz.. Bzzz. Bzzz... Fed 8 hungry kids a meal. Answered the phone that normally never rings but has been ringing off the hook all day. Tried to have a conversation with my friend while being interrupted 18 times by the 8 kids I willingly invited into my home. Bzzz.... Bzzz.... Bzzz...

I caught someone in a lie and my annoyance level sky rocketed. Bzzz.... Bzzzz.... Bzzz.... Threw my hands up in frustration and was ready to join the sheep in beating my head against the wall. I called a wise woman of the Lord and she gave me a word from The Word. I Corinthians 13:4-8: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." My friend encouraged me to let the lie go and choose love. She reminded me that choosing love is also choosing forgiveness and in this case means I can't duck and dive when I see this person next. Even as I mulled this over, the flies of anger, self-righteousness and unforgiveness were swarming my mind. Bzzzz... Bzzzz... Bzzzz....

Wow is it difficult to set aside my agenda to take up the mind of Christ. But I knew I needed to stop the buzzing. I asked the Holy Spirit to pour into my depleted life more of Himself. To give me wisdom and discernment with the situation at hand. To replace my frustration with peace. My anger with love. My bitterness with forgiveness. I asked God to figuratively anoint my head with oil and SPLAT! My Good Shepherd smashed those flies.

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