Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Kids Say the Funniest Things...

1. Grant, who is 7 and in 2nd grade, got an email from his 1st grade teacher from last year. Out of curiosity, she wondered what Grant remembered about Martin Luther King. Here's what he said: "I don't remember that much, but here's what I do remember. He was African American in the time of civil rights. He believed love beat hate. I just read a new fact this year that in civil rights times black and white kids played together until they were six then never again. He gave a famous speech that I don't remember much about except that it started with I have a dream. The dream was that white children would play with black children and that they would have equal rights."

2. Alli (age 4) was irritated with Katie (6 years) who was whining in the car. She used her most authoritative tone and said, "Katie - zip it and throw away your key."

3. Grant has always loved geography, and like his dad, studies maps for fun. There's a geography bee at school tomorrow and each class can send one representative. To determine the winner, the students took a written test with random geography questions. Grant missed two. Caleb, his super smart friend, missed one. Grant was DEVASTATED that he is "only the alternate" and came home crying about how disappointing it was. (Now THAT part he gets from me). He said, "Mom, I'd like to pray that Caleb is absent, but that's probably not very nice is it?"

4. Katie, who is NOT interested in geography, but wanted to impress her brother during our time in the car said to Grant in her smartest tone, "California is definitely just right by Texas." Hmmmm....

5. Paige (2 years) wanted to camp out in Grant's room after I put her to bed. She used the guise of being scared and when I asked her what she was scared of, she looked rapidly around her room, scanning for anything even remotely scary and settled on "the garbage can." I can DEFINITELY see how that is scary...

6. When I asked Grant if he would "snuggle" with Paige because she was petrified of the garbage can, he very diplomatically said, "Well Mom. It's not that I don't love Paige or anything like that cause she's a great little sister, but I really don't like her invading my private bedroom time. I like to read my books or play with my legos and she doesn't sit quietly and do what I say. Plus I made the mistake of showing her Montana on the map in my room and she always asks me, 'Where's Hantana?' (laugh) and won't leave me alone. So I guess it's okay, but only for 10 minutes and then she has to go back to her bed."

7. Alli (4) asked for "hanitizer" (hand sanitizer), calls clementines "lemontimes" and called Barak Obama "Arak Bobama."

8. We came home from a night out to the kids running out the front door screaming bloody murder followed by our very capable babysitter, Chloe, carrying the phone and Paige. When the kids settled down, we realized that they had been playing with Paige's heater fan (which is full of dust and hasn't been used yet in the mild Oregon winter) and they unknowingly cranked it to the highest heat. It burned up the dust and set the smoke alarm off, thus the mass panic. When all was settled down, Grant gave us a lecture about the need for a fire escape safety plan. Three weeks later, at bedtime, he sent Curt down to have a serious conversation with me. His request was, "Mom, if the house catches on fire during the day while I'm at school and not around, there are only two things that I need you to save from my room: Stripey (his blanket) and Freebo (his stuffed rabbit). Will you please promise you'll rescue them if I'm not around?" Curt's job was to get an affirmative answer from me and then report back that I was indeed willing to rescue Freebo and Stripey. WHEW! Glad we got that taken care of.

9. Katie overheard me tell Curt that our friend Peter's birthday was on Tuesday (today). Without missing a beat, she said, "Oh that's the same day Barak Obama starts his new job."

10. Paige, almost 3 years old, came downstairs and said, "Mommy, someting broken in the play room. A drawer. I not broken it."

11. Paige has gotten to the point where she mixes up her pronouns a lot. She recently asked, "What him said?" She also sing-songed"I see Francis. I see London. I see Alli's booty crack." That one was funny, but not so proud.

12. Katie overheard my Dad talking about how he had something extra and he wasn't sure what he was going to do with it. She piped up, "Oh. You can sell it on Craigslist." I thought he was going to wet his pants.

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